


The Insecurity of Recovery

by cuddly_punk



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Anorexia, Comforting, Eating Disorders, Established Relationship, Implied Relationships, M/M, Phanfiction, Recovery, a little bit of swearing, enough fluff to rot your teeth, insecure, no fucking context whatsoever
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-13
Updated: 2015-05-13
Packaged: 2018-03-30 09:10:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 933
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3931180
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cuddly_punk/pseuds/cuddly_punk
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dan is recovering from an Eating Disorder and feel insecure about gaining weight and Phil is just hella awesome and comforts him like the best friend/boyfriend his is!</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Insecurity of Recovery

**Author's Note:**

> I've been writing this fic for what feels like forever and one of friends was like 'omg this is good post dis shit!' so I did, thanks friend!

Dan stepped on the scales, fearing the worst. He’d been clean of anorexia for nearly 2 months and clean from self-harm for about a month, but he was still coming to terms with the weight gain, didn’t matter how many times Phil told him it was normal or how much praise the doctors at the hospital gave him it still sent a shiver down his spine of that he wasn’t good enough or he would get fat and no one would like him

145lbs…. 66kgs a steep climb from the last time he weighed himself so he turned to the mirror, he was only wearing underwear so nothing was hidden under his skinny jeans or baggy shirts or constant varying shades of black clothing covering his lanky frame, his was disgusted by himself for putting on so much weight and eating all that food last night,

Dan tugged at his skin in all directions, the thin layer of fat that sat on his bony frame that made him so unattractive suddenly he felt a tear run his bony cheek at the fat, stupid, lanky idiot that he saw starring back at him from the bathroom mirror

“Hey Dan, can you plea….” Phil walked into the bathroom to find Dan scowling at his own naked refection in the mirror “Dan? What are you doing?” Phil asked tentatively as he didn’t want to upset Dan as he was doing so well in his recovery 

“Phil!?” Dan hastily did a double take trying to wipe the tears from his cheeks 

“Are you ok?” Phil looked at Dan with a perplexed and worried look on his face, for the past few months he hadn’t known if he was talking to Dan Howell or Anorexia

“I’m fine…..” Dan trailed away with his own words “I-I just weighed myself”

Phil, fearing the worst asked Dan to show the underside of forearms and inspected for any signs of cuts but apart from the fading white lines from previous attempts of suicide, Dan’s arms were clean of fresh cuts

“Then why were you crying?” Phil looked straight into Dan’s big chocolate brown eyes for signs of lying   
“look at me” was Dan could murmur “I’m disgusting” another tear rolled down he cheek, down the skin pulled tight over the high cheekbones “I’m so fat no one will ever want to be seen with me”

“no you’re not” Phil hugged Dan and felt him fall limp in his arms, Phil took his own shirt off, his features less defined then Dan’s but Phil was skinny and had the physique Dan had strived for many years to achieve “look at me” Phil grabbed under Dan’s chin and forced him to look Phil up and down, “what do you think of me?” Phil turned to Dan “and be honest”

“You’re perfect, not fat, not nothing, you’re not lanky… you’re not stupid” Dan felt more tears stream down his face   
“But your skinnier then me” Phil answered Dan’s sweet comments with a hard question, “how can you be fat when you’re skinnier than me?” Phil’s eyes connected with Dan’s “stand next to me and look at us side by side” Phil pulled Dan closer to him and they stood side by side, now not even the most deluded person on the planet could dispute that one body was smaller than the other. Phil ran his hands over Dan’s body with his long beautiful fingers and stopped when he reached his hip bones “put your hands wear mine are” he instructed Dan, Dan did so “ what do you feel?” Phil asked with a soft tone

“Bone” the one word that came out of Dan’s made his eyes leak again “I feel bone Phil, nothing but bone” 

“What about on me?” Phil placed Dan’s bony hands on his own hips  
“I feel bone but also muscle and tissue and skin and….” Dan’s voice trailed away for the second time  
“Fat?” Phil prompted Dan with a questioning air in his voice “you see Dan I’m at what you call a healthy weight and I have fat on my body, it completely normal for people to have fat on their bodies” Dan looked at Phil and realised he was telling the truth, it was normal for people to have fat on their bodies and if he was striving to have body like the perfection of Phil's he needed to put on weight

Dan turned around to face Phil “thank you” Dan voice started to shake again but this time the tears that leaked were happy ones “I’m such an idiot” a smile working its way into his frowning features

“No, you’re not!” Phil laughed and tapped Dan on the nose “ok maybe you are but you’re my idiot, my little recovering anorexic idiot” Phil’s arms encircled around Dan’s thin waist and pulled him into a hug

“Why on earth do you put up with me?” Dan’s warm eyes met Phil’s icy ones “what have I got going for me hey?” Dan smirked  
“Well you’re a great hugger and you can cook so well” Phil dragging out the ‘o’ in so “and well the huge dick is definitely a huge plus so” Dan punched Phil in the arm “classy, real fucking classy”

Phil, still laughing pick up his shirt and through it back on, “I’m starving, want some lunch?” he looked back and Dan who considered to be weighing up the pros and cons of eating, then he through caution to the wind “fuck yeah” he grabbed Phil’s hand and followed him upstairs to the kitchen “I’m definitely thinking pizza.”

**Author's Note:**

> please comment and thoughts you have on the story! please feel free to unleash your rants if your want!


End file.
